Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Just Trying to Get a Grip
There are days when I am a really swinging, together mom. We rise early and before us lays every imaginable, wonderful thing. I am creative super mom on those days and say "YES" to every mess they wish to create. I do not feel perfect, just riding this nice little happy groove of children, creating, reading, playing and some chores thrown in there,too. I fall asleep exhausted on those days but with a heart full of joy at what I was a part of.Then ,there are days like today. Instead of my nice, smooth groove, I feel like I was dragged across a dry river bed. And somehow managed to snag myself on every piece of debris left behind. I cringe when my children suggest another mess. The day is just a countdown to bedtime. I crawl in bed wondering what went wrong. I usually want to cry but am too tried to manage that emotional feat. Truth be told I feel like a failure. A friend commented on how she would like to focus on how God sees her. I would like today to see myself the way God sees me. What does He see when He looks at this broken mess of a girl? There were harsh words spoken, missed opportunities to show God's grace and precious time that slipped through my fingers today. I know the answer is not for me to pull up my boot straps and try harder tomorrow. I will seek His face, forgiveness and pray it is a smoother ride.