Wednesday, June 27, 2007

We Survived!!!

Pinewood does VBS in a big way. Everyone dresses up and joins in the fun. This year held both firsts and lasts for us. It was the first time I have done VBS since #4 was a baby (she is now 6.5)The last summer that I worked, I was pregnant with #5 and worked in the classroom as a teacher. #4 wasn't comfortable with being left in the nursery so I toted her around all week,in either the backpack or the sling.It was a very long,exhausting week and I remember we ate out every day for lunch. The following week, at exactly twelve weeks, I started bleeding and did not stop until our little one was gone. We named him Caleb Asher. I think on a very deep, hidden level I blamed myself. Did I think I was Superwoman? Why didn't I send the other kids off to VBS and stay home and rest? Why didn't I eat better that week? Also, there was mixed feelings between my husband and I about the arrival of this new baby. We were thrilled, yes but, at the same time worried how it was all going to work out. There were feelings of guilt,about not wanting the baby at that time,after I lost him. I know now that I did not hurt my little one and the reality is he probably stopped developing at 8 weeks. God has comforted me and given me His grace and peace. So . . .this year I did VBS in a big way. I was the Missions Lady. This is the woman in charge of sharing with the kids about the missions project for the week. This year we collected coins for feeding centers in Costa Rica and cans for the food pantry at church. I named myself Rosita-Fresita-Chiquita-Banana. The kids called me Rosie. Everyday I wore a new, strangely decorated hat.It was truly a week of healing and joy for me. I was surrounded all week by women and men who have helped me grow in my faith. My own personal cloud of witnesses!It was triumphant! To God be the glory!
And it was the last year of VBS for my oldest daughter as a student. Next year she will be a teen helper. I am hoping we can work together. All of her siblings (except THE BOY) are scrambling to have her promise to help in their classrooms. The last night of VBS she went to Dairy Queen with some friends instead of heading home with us. How is it they grow so quickly??? Time slips through my fingers. I swear it was just yesterday,she would never have left my side and was incapable of feeding herself and now . . . now she will be serving snacks to a classroom full of kids. Sigh . . . I think I need some chocolate!

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